On Knowing Your Value from Your Souls Perspective

I've been on a journey to myself. More specifically, trying to find who I am. It's been a process of deep unravelling of what I thought were truths about my purpose. And it's led me to an understanding I never thought I needed.

Today is the 12 month anniversary of my relocation to Melbourne. It's been a year of what I thought was soul searching. Wanting, if not needing, to find my place in the world. Believing that when I 'belonged' I would feel at home. What I found along the way has changed how I see myself.

I was always taught from childhood that my value lay in my usefulness. This informed much of my adult life and impacted both my professional and personal relationships. If someone else struggled it was my responsibility to fix it, and if they failed it was my fault because I hadn't been useful enough.

Yes I've worked on this. Yes I've seen other therapists about this. Yes I've done endless sessions on myself for this. Yes I've received psychotherapy on this. Yes I know the trauma informed responses inherent in this behavioural patterning.

I know too the external perspective that lies in this view of myself. Understanding that I was only perceived by others based on how I could positively impact their lives created a strong attachment to people pleasing. If they were happy with my contribution to their experience, then they would value me. So yes, I've worked on and understand all the fractured nuances of how I operated in the world and saw myself.

I know that this isn't all of me. That this small aspect, even though it felt all encompassing, reflected only what others wanted to see.

And yet even with all the work, I still questioned my value outside of my usefulness to others. Still was not able to see myself clearly enough to change the patterns of my life.

As someone who helps people see themselves clearly for a living, the irony is not lost on me that I struggled to see myself. 

What I began to understand was that I was only seeing myself through my wounded self. Not through the eyes of my Soul.

And it was my wounds that were keeping me blind to my truth.

When you do energetic work like this you are able to move through layers that are often hidden from normal sight. The layers I uncovered were ancient and spanned lifetimes.

This was not the witch wound. It wasn't even the feminine wound. 

I had begun an unravelling. A slow unwinding of beliefs, patterns, and programs that were keeping me bound. Bound away from myself.

The deeper I went the more revealed I felt as I slowly connected to my Souls vision.

It was as if my Soul was holding up a mirror, showing me itself. Showing me, MYself.

This is who you are. This is your value. We are one. My value IS YOUR VALUE.

What is now unfolding is a continual reflection which feels alive in me. People pleasing? Not so much. Useful to others? Sure, but not before useful to myself. Valued for what I do? Yes, but valued by me FIRST for who I am.

To see my value as a reflection of what my Soul is providing for me in this lifetime. As a suitcase filled with treasure. A suitcase that only I have the key to open. Treasure that is meant for MY use, to enhance MY life, to provide love and joy and hope and purpose - FOR ME.

That is what my Soul gives me. My Soul leads me with this knowledge. It has been trying to do so for years. 

It's just that now I'm listening. Now I'm receiving. 

Now I'm home.

Do you think of yourself as high value? Of having value at all? Or is your value in relation to how useful you are to others?

Your value should be to yourself first. Always. Knowing your own innate value, as a person, as a human being, as a divine soul, should be the foundation for all that you do.

It should inform your life: your choices, relationships, your purpose.

It comes with knowing who you are and then recognising the value in simply being YOU.

Are you valuing you? For you?