Rituals pervade every area of my life and New Years Eve is no different.

I’ve never been a big fan of celebrating the new year (apart from some rather spectacular parties in my younger days). However, since my marriage ended and I’ve found myself on my own at the close of the year, celebrating and ritualising the release of one year and extending an invitation to the next has become a ritual I cherish and look forward to for weeks.

My life is full of small, even tiny rituals. I used to think of them as insignificant. But as my life changed, dramatically and painfully, these small moments of my day became increasingly important to me.

The way I wake in the morning is now a wonderful few moments of reflection and gratitude.

Here in Sydney we’ve been drowning in torrential rain, the worst storms in the last 10 years. As a result of the deluge, my healing room has flooded.

There comes a time in a womans’ life when she reaches a fork in the road. A point where she can either turn one way and let life continue as it always has, or she can turn the other way, a new way, and begin a new chapter of her life.

I have a very special friend.

The one who I know will always tell me the truth, no matter what. I’m sure you’ve got one too. You know, the one you ring when you need to vent? The one who listens with compassion, murmuring ‘ah yes’ and gasping an ‘oh no’ at the perfect time?

For me, it’s when I’ve ranted all I can and the conversation lends itself to a pause so I can draw breath, that she then comes out with a spiritual gem, dripping in deep wisdom, which brings me to that ‘aha’ moment!

It is very easy to believe what other people think of you. It is easier to go with the bad than to tell yourself you are worth more, you ARE more, they just can’t see it.

…But here’s the thing: there are so many realities I’ve never dared to create because on some level, I haven’t been totally honest with myself. That avoidance and reluctance has stopped me from looking too deeply, from diving into the greater depths of possibility. It’s stopped me from giving myself permission to put my needs, wants and desires first. Because if I drag those dreams up into the light, then I might have to do something with them.

And that reluctance has come from a place of fear.