Becoming Me

It’s been one heck of a ride, this whole ‘becoming me’ thing.

Each time I’ve thought I’d reached ‘somewhere’, the world has turned and it’s like I start all over again.

Is it this way for you too?

I don’t normally share about my personal growth adventure. And yes I’ve reframed it to an adventure, because journey or path feels too heavy and burdensome, like something I have to do even on the days when I want to curl under the covers and hide.

So in the interests of transparency and the hope that maybe someone reading this may relate and find a little hope in these words, here goes…

For a long time now I’ve been fascinated with the science behind why we think and behave the way we do. Why we attract certain relationships, and why some end while others continue. The science led me to physiology, biology, neuroscience, and metaphysics. It led me to eastern and western philosophy. The laws of the universe were delved into, as well as ancient texts and teachings: Masters of the Far East, Meister Eckhart, and modern mystics like Caroline Myss. 

All of this in an effort to uncover the truth of who I am: to become more ‘me’.

Continually working ‘on’ myself became weekly and sometimes daily explorations into the workings of my energy, my psyche, and my emotions. Uncovering patterns, pathways, beliefs, programs, sabotages, all hindering my ability or sometimes willingness to reveal myself.

It’s been quite an adventure with lots of losses and sadness, as well as joyful connections and change. 

But what has become undeniable is really a simple truth: at my core and flowing into all my energies and from there into my experiences, is love.

We all have core energies (frequencies) which our cells vibrate out into our reality. Informing our reality of where we are at, and who we are, constantly. These frequencies become our point of attraction in the world. If someone is attracted to our frequency they may wander in closer and connect with us. But when our frequency changes, as it does when we grow, change, and evolve, they may wander further away. This is a simplified explanation but you get my meaning.

As I began to realise that my core was a love frequency, it became more and more apparent where I was misaligned with that in my life. And it hit me one sleepless night, that until I accepted that I am love, love would not flow limitlessly back to me. I had to fully accept and embrace the truth of who I am for me to experience it in all the ways, in all the places of my life.

And so I began another stage in the adventure of becoming me: I began to love. Myself, my thoughts, my visions, my dreams, my mis-takes, my choices, my body, my life. 

Slowly changes started showing up. Synchronicities began appearing. And my meditations changed to become a process of insourcing my love, rather than searching outwardly for it.

I now have a more expanded awareness of who I am and where I sit in the universal picture of humanity. My understanding of energy, frequency, vibration, connection, guides, god, love, and all the things, has radically expanded to include new teachings, new perspectives, and new growth.

In time I will begin to teach these new perspectives as they are becoming core foundational pieces of my personal philosophy and are impacting my work, and the experiences of my clients when they work with me.

Some of this is just too juicy and good not to share!

So today I am more ‘me’ than I’ve ever been, and I am still evolving. I’ve accepted that change and growth is the way I roll and I no longer resist that or ask it to slow down so I can catch my breath. I’m good with the growth, the cadence of it, and the mind expanding wowness of it.

And I look forward to who I will become: tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. For the one constant in all this is change.

It’s a wild ride my darling.