It is very easy to believe what other people think of you. It is easier to go with the bad than to tell yourself you are worth more, you ARE more, they just can’t see it.
A while ago I was confronted by someone telling me what they thought of me, and it wasn’t easy to hear. I was hurt, disappointed and very very sad that they saw so little, when I knew I was so much more. It took some days, much self talk and meditation before I finally got to that place of believing, REALLY believing, in my own self worth.
One comment, just one little sentence, caused so much pain. Yet it also began a journey of questioning, re-evaluating, re-connecting to my inner self, my true self. I began to see myself for who I really was and I realised that that person was amazing.
During one of my meditations I was told a story. This story is what made me see myself through new eyes…
In meditation, I regularly go to a small hut in a clearing within a forest. I had grounded myself, my breathing was regular and even, all seemed as it had been before. Yet this time as I approached, things were a little different. The hut was larger, and I soon realised it was an Indian Sweat Lodge (unusual for me!) My gatekeeper allowed me to enter and once inside I could see that the Lodge was packed with people. Around the central fire were seated the elders, all around them were dozens of others. I saw one of my animal guides, and carefully made my way to sit beside him. Quietly, one of the elders began to tell a story…
“There was a spirit girl, who moved through the world calmly, quietly, at peace with herself and all around her. She found beauty in simple things, the petals of a flower, the wind on her face. Always she moved forward, smiling, happy. One day she came upon a pond where a beautiful swan lived. She spoke to the swan and told him his world was beautiful. He told her to come with him and he would show his world to her. As they moved out into the pond he said, ‘see, there are no sharp corners here. Always we move and turn round and round, gliding smoothly. The world is beautiful’. Yes, said the spirit girl, but she thought there must be more to the world than this.
As they moved around the pond, the spirit girl noticed an eagle approaching them. The eagle said, come with me and I will show you the world. So the spirit girl went with the eagle, and they flew up into the air. As they moved higher, the spirit girl could see the pond and the swan and indeed it was beautiful. But as they moved higher, she could see that there were other ponds and other swans, all of them beautiful. Higher still they went, and the spirit girl could see that deep within Mother Earth, all the ponds were connected by deep underground springs, each feeding and flowing to the others. Yet on the surface, the swans could not see this and did not know there were other ponds and could not see the connections.
They flew higher again, up into the stars. The spirit girl was surrounded by the light and energy which was coming from these stars, and she pulled the light into her body. When she was filled with as much light as she could hold, she gently blew it out through her heart, down, down, down to the swan, so that while it was swimming round in its pond it was being showered with filtered infinite love.
Slowly, the spirit girl and the eagle came back down to earth where, with much love, they gently parted ways.”
I can see now that while the swan was beautiful, and the world he had made for himself was wonderful, he could only see HIS world. With his limited vision he could not see the other ponds, the other swans and the potential and beauty that was out there.
With humility and gratitude I let the hurt and disappointment fall away. Knowing that my friend is the swan and his view of me is limited by his capacity to see clearly. I wish him love and light and hope that one day, he will be able to fly high and see the bigger picture.